{"id":7662,"date":"2017-10-07T18:29:30","date_gmt":"2017-10-07T18:29:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orcutt.net\/weblog\/?page_id=7662"},"modified":"2026-02-09T16:04:52","modified_gmt":"2026-02-09T16:04:52","slug":"about-perpetuating-trouble","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/orcutt.net\/weblog\/memoirs\/about-perpetuating-trouble\/","title":{"rendered":"About Perpetuating Trouble"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Read\u00ader \u2026 have you ever wished you could earn a liv\u00ading by mak\u00ading stuff up? Have you ever fan\u00adta\u00adsized about liv\u00ading the life of a writer? If so, Per\u00adpet\u00adu\u00adat\u00ading Trou\u00adble<\/i><\/b> is the humor\u00adous cau\u00adtion\u00adary tale you need to read.<\/p>\n

\u201cI avoid\u00aded writ\u00aders very care\u00adful\u00adly because they can per\u00adpet\u00adu\u00adate trou\u00adble as no one else can,\u201d<\/i> wrote F. Scott Fitzger\u00adald. In this mem\u00adoir, nov\u00adel\u00adist Chris Orcutt shows how true this is.<\/p>\n

Debunk\u00ading the myths, Orcutt reveals that the writ\u00ading life is real\u00adly one of crush\u00ading soli\u00adtude, chron\u00adic dis\u00adsat\u00adis\u00adfac\u00adtion, mood swings and self-doubt, and where suc\u00adcess\u00ades, when they come, are like din\u00ader mints\u2014sweet, but short-lived. And every\u00adday life is equal\u00adly stress\u00adful, with cal\u00adlous urol\u00ado\u00adgists, cur\u00admud\u00adgeon\u00adly painters, flir\u00adta\u00adtious recep\u00adtion\u00adists, per\u00adson\u00adal feuds and pet\u00adty thefts. For the writer, all of this leads to one thing\u2014perpetual trou\u00adble.<\/p>\n

Yet, Orcut\u00adt\u2019s deep love of lan\u00adguage, his saint\u00adly wife, and his indomitable sense of humor keep him going. Whether pick\u00ading up two female hitch\u00adhik\u00aders who lat\u00ader turn out to be aliens from anoth\u00ader plan\u00adet, or divest\u00ading him\u00adself of a hoard of tacky paint\u00adings, or using phi\u00adlos\u00ado\u00adphy to get out of a traf\u00adfic tick\u00adet, Orcutt finds the humor and the art in his tri\u00adals. It\u2019s also a life of love and sad\u00adness, as he recounts a whirl\u00adwind love affair with a rav\u00adish\u00ading red\u00adhead, and the death of his beloved writ\u00ading com\u00adpan\u00adion, his cat.<\/p>\n

In the end, Orcutt dis\u00adcov\u00aders that to be a writer, he must be part adven\u00adtur\u00ader, cru\u00adsad\u00ader, humorist, lover, philoso\u00adpher, and, of course, trou\u00adble\u00admak\u00ader.<\/p>\n

Per\u00adpet\u00adu\u00adat\u00ading Trou\u00adble<\/i><\/b> is Orcut\u00adt\u2019s tenth book, and by far his most per\u00adson\u00adal work to date.<\/p>\n

Buy: <\/strong><\/span>Ama\u00adzon<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Excerpt from Perpetuating Trouble<\/em><\/h1>\n

I can\u2019t speak for all blocked writ\u00aders, but when I\u2019m blocked, I seek out con\u00adflict with peo\u00adple and insti\u00adtu\u00adtions, and I chan\u00adnel my cre\u00adative ten\u00adsion into dis\u00adtrac\u00adtions, rais\u00ading my pro\u00adcras\u00adti\u00adna\u00adtion from writ\u00ading to a rar\u00adi\u00adfied art form. Over the past 25 years as a writer, I have man\u00adi\u00adfest\u00aded my writer\u2019s block in count\u00adless ways. I have tak\u00aden day-long, mean\u00adder\u00ading car rides, and, if anoth\u00ader driver\u2019s dri\u00adving has annoyed me, I have fol\u00adlowed that per\u00adson for hours, across state lines in some cas\u00ades. I have researched pen\u00adcils, going so far as to inves\u00adti\u00adgate what became of the lead for\u00admu\u00adlas of supe\u00adri\u00ador brands that no longer exist. I have vis\u00adit\u00aded my library\u2019s used book sale and stolen back books that I donat\u00aded because they didn\u2019t put the books in their col\u00adlec\u00adtion like I asked them to. I have also stolen copies of my own<\/em> books from library used book sales, when I\u2019ve dis\u00adcov\u00adered they were copies I inscribed to spe\u00adcif\u00adic read\u00aders, and the read\u00aders hadn\u2019t val\u00adued them. I have start\u00aded nation\u00adal cam\u00adpaigns to boy\u00adcott can\u00addy bar com\u00adpa\u00adnies when they changed their pack\u00adag\u00ading from tra\u00addi\u00adtion\u00adal paper and foil to Mylar. I have writ\u00adten rants on social media web\u00adsites, about pol\u00adi\u00adtics or Amer\u00adi\u00adcan his\u00adto\u00adry or Eng\u00adlish gram\u00admar, or some\u00adtimes about social media itself. I have writ\u00adten let\u00adters to the edi\u00adtors of dai\u00adly news\u00adpa\u00adpers, or pre\u00adtend\u00aded to be a col\u00adlege stu\u00addent and writ\u00adten satir\u00adi\u00adcal pieces for col\u00adlege news\u00adpa\u00adpers. I have savored after\u00adnoons drink\u00ading beer in bars with names like \u201cHur\u00adri\u00adcane\u201d and \u201cIce House,\u201d flirt\u00ading with attrac\u00adtive female bar\u00adtenders, watch\u00ading soc\u00adcer (which I loathe) and cor\u00adrect\u00ading the gram\u00admar of men who speak rude\u00adly to the wait\u00adress\u00ades. I have feud\u00aded with a local thrift store because they refused to exchange a $3 den\u00adim shirt I\u2019d bought that didn\u2019t fit me. I have called the office of Con\u00adnecti\u00adcut Sen\u00ada\u00adtor Lieber\u00adman and argued with his under\u00adlings about his poli\u00adcies, even though I am not now, nor have I ever been, a res\u00adi\u00addent of Con\u00adnecti\u00adcut. I have invent\u00aded an alter ego, Dako\u00adta Perez, and per\u00adsuad\u00aded small-town jour\u00adnal\u00adists to write arti\u00adcles about \u201cmy\u201d exploits.<\/p>\n

The Ger\u00adman Chris\u00adt\u00adian the\u00adolo\u00adgian and philoso\u00adpher Meis\u00adter Eck\u00adhart said that God gives to each one of us what is best for him. I believe this is why God has not giv\u00aden me a sil\u00adver Aston Mar\u00adtin V12 Van\u00adquish, nor a bour\u00adbon-drink\u00ading 25-year-old mis\u00adtress in the form of \u201cred-head\u00aded, deep-breast\u00aded, slen\u00adder and indo\u00adlent\u201d Claris\u00adsa from John Cheever\u2019s sto\u00adry \u201cThe Chaste Claris\u00adsa.\u201d God knows that nei\u00adther the Aston Martin\u2019s 568 horse\u00adpow\u00ader, nor the deep-breast\u00aded red\u00adhead reclin\u00ading lan\u00adguorous\u00adly in the pas\u00adsen\u00adger seat with a bot\u00adtle of Maker\u2019s Mark Ken\u00adtucky Straight Bour\u00adbon in her lap would be best for me. Not at all. And if I had writer\u2019s block at the same time? For\u00adget about it. I wouldn\u2019t self-destruct; I would spon\u00adta\u00adneous\u00adly com\u00adbust.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Legend of Dakota Perez<\/h1>\n

In Per\u00adpet\u00adu\u00adat\u00ading Trou\u00adble<\/em>, when describ\u00ading all of the ways in which Orcutt\u2019s writer\u2019s block has man\u00adi\u00adfest\u00aded itself, he writes, \u201cI have invent\u00aded an alter ego, Dako\u00adta Perez, and per\u00adsuad\u00aded small-town jour\u00adnal\u00adists to write arti\u00adcles about my<\/em> exploits.\u201d<\/p>\n

Fol\u00adlow\u00ading is one of the \u201cDako\u00adta Perez\u201d arti\u00adcles<\/a> from the Downeast Coastal Press.<\/em><\/p>\n

Downeast Coastal Press \u2014 Week of Novem\u00adber 15, 1994\"Screen<\/a>
\n<\/strong>\u201cSto\u00adry\u00adteller Dako\u00adta Perez Comes to Machias\u201d
\n<\/strong>by Wayne Smith<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dako\u00adta Perez is a drifter, a per\u00adson who lives all over the world. Perez is a man who likes to be heard as he mix\u00ades his real life expe\u00adri\u00adence with fic\u00adtion, often stretch\u00ading the truth. He is a sto\u00adry\u00adteller, a lit\u00ader\u00adary gen\u00aduine.<\/p>\n

I hap\u00adpened to catch up with Perez, and I chat\u00adted with the man last week. His life is fan\u00adtas\u00adtic and this is what I found out.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll let the read\u00ader decide on this col\u00ador\u00adful interview\u2014probably one of the best I remem\u00adber in my five years writ\u00ading for the DCP.<\/p>\n

Perez\u2019s favorite sports sto\u00adry came when he was liv\u00ading in New York. It was the 1978 World Series, when Reg\u00adgie Jack\u00adson hit three home\u00adruns [sic] for the Yan\u00adkees in a game against the Dodgers.<\/p>\n

\u201cI saw Jack\u00adson hit all those home\u00adruns. That guy could real\u00adly hit. He was just amaz\u00ading. But the thing they don\u2019t tell you about Jack\u00adson is that fans after the game would make fun of him, call\u00ading him a jerk. And Jack\u00adson had a Trans Am where his trunk was full of bats. As peo\u00adple were say\u00ading this about Jack\u00adson, he would just take the bats out of the trunk and hurl them at his crit\u00adics. If he hit you, [you] would die.\u201d<\/p>\n

He fin\u00adished with two state\u00adments about New York before he talked about Alas\u00adka. \u201cDon\u2019t talk to peo\u00adple with blue hair on the sub\u00adway. And the water in the Hud\u00adson Bay [Riv\u00ader] is not clean enough to drink yet.\u201d<\/p>\n

In Alas\u00adka, Perez stayed briefly with a fam\u00adi\u00adly one win\u00adter which had a rit\u00adu\u00adal of chop\u00adping wood naked. It would help in [the] spir\u00adi\u00adtu\u00adal heal\u00ading of the pow\u00ader of nature, they claimed.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis guy would split wood naked. It was cold. He had me do it. I nev\u00ader did so much raw phys\u00adi\u00adcal labor in my life. you try chop\u00adping wood in Jan\u00adu\u00adary buck-naked and see how you like it. I bet you change your tune in life, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

Perez said his par\u00adents were killed and he lived in an orphan\u00adage. \u201cNuns gave me col\u00ador\u00ading books to col\u00ador, but they only gave me black and white crayons. I nev\u00ader knew there was col\u00ador in the world until I was nine. Lat\u00ader, I would ask old\u00ader peo\u00adple if there was col\u00ador when they were grow\u00ading up. When I was four in the orphan\u00adage I nev\u00ader had any stim\u00adu\u00adla\u00adtion to answer until they gave me a ted\u00addy bear to inter\u00adact with. I squeezed it, and after that I want\u00aded to squeeze every\u00adthing I could get my hands on\u2026.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was in Texas for three months and that\u2019s prob\u00ada\u00adbly how long that I will stay in Machias,\u201d says Perez. \u201cIt\u2019s like a reverse time warp up here. It\u2019s like Einstein\u2019s rel\u00ada\u00adtiv\u00adi\u00adty the\u00ado\u00adry applied to trav\u00adel. They even have auto\u00admo\u00adbiles up here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeems like nothing\u2019s mov\u00ading up here. Sur\u00adpris\u00ading there is decaf\u00adfeinat\u00aded cof\u00adfee up here.\u201d<\/p>\n

Perez van\u00adished again, his voice spin\u00adning like a car, the sto\u00adries run\u00adning off his tongue while he walked down Main Street.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Preview of Perpetuating Trouble<\/em><\/h1>\n

The mem\u00adoir con\u00adtains adven\u00adtures and episodes that occurred dur\u00ading a 20-year peri\u00adod of the author\u2019s life. Fol\u00adlow\u00ading are the chap\u00adter titles and brief syn\u00adopses of their con\u00adtents:<\/p>\n

1 \u2014 Alien Girls<\/strong> \u2014 In which the author receives writ\u00ading advice from two female extrater\u00adres\u00adtri\u00adals.<\/em><\/p>\n

2 \u2014 The Thomas Kinkade Affair<\/strong> \u2014 In which the author attempts to divest him\u00adself of a hoard of loathed paint\u00adings.<\/em><\/p>\n

3 \u2014 You Know What\u2019s Com\u00ading Next<\/strong> \u2014 In which the author describes a prostate exam.<\/em><\/p>\n

4 \u2014 Absent\u00admind\u00aded<\/strong> \u2014 In which the author doc\u00adu\u00adments his ten\u00adden\u00adcies toward absent\u00admind\u00aded\u00adness.<\/em><\/p>\n

5 \u2014 The Red\u00adhead in the Emer\u00adald Slick\u00ader<\/strong> \u2014 In which the author chron\u00adi\u00adcles his brief love affair with the<\/span> red\u00adhead.<\/em><\/p>\n

6 \u2014 A Sor\u00adry Men\u00addi\u00adcant<\/strong> \u2014 In which the author shows what his life is like when ham\u00adpered by writer\u2019s block.<\/em><\/p>\n

7 \u2014 Acci\u00adden\u00adtal Invaders<\/strong> \u2014 In which the author recounts his mis\u00adad\u00adven\u00adture with lady\u00adbugs.<\/em><\/p>\n

8 \u2014 Nobody Says Any\u00adthing<\/strong> \u2014 In which the author relates his frus\u00adtra\u00adtions with always being the per\u00adson who speaks up.<\/em><\/p>\n

9 \u2014 Love Sto\u00adry to Sweet\u00adie<\/strong> \u2014 In which the author tells the sto\u00adry of his beloved writ\u00ading com\u00adpan\u00adion, his cat.<\/em><\/p>\n

10 \u2014 The Prodi\u00adgal Stu\u00addent Returns<\/strong> \u2014 In which the author limns about a vis\u00adit to his alma mater, 20 years after grad\u00adu\u00ada\u00adtion.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

* Book cov\u00ader image, \u201cWriter nov\u00adel\u00adist drink\u00ading whiskey work\u00ading on a book using type\u00adwriter\u201d (stock pho\u00adto ID: 530717434) by Peter Bernik, used under license from Shut\u00adter\u00adstock, Inc.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Read\u00ader \u2026 have you ever wished you could earn a liv\u00ading by mak\u00ading stuff up? Have you ever fan\u00adta\u00adsized about liv\u00ading the life of\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":7648,"menu_order":23,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-7662","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/orcutt.net\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/7662","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/orcutt.net\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/orcutt.net\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orcutt.net\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orcutt.net\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7662"}],"version-history":[{"count":27,"href":"https:\/\/orcutt.net\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/7662\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9975,"href":"https:\/\/orcutt.net\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/7662\/revisions\/9975"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orcutt.net\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/7648"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/orcutt.net\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}