![](\"https:\/\/orcutt.net\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/DSCN9069.jpg\")
<\/a>\u201cWhat\nis it?\u201d Alexas asked me in the dark\u00adness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cScream\u00ading\ncows,\u201d I said. \u201cAnd coy\u00adotes. I think the coy\u00adotes are going after the calves.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh,\nthat\u2019s awful!\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah,\nsad,\u201d I said, get\u00adting back under the cov\u00aders, \u201cbut from a cre\u00adative stand\u00adpoint,\nit\u2019s pure gold. There\u2019s a sto\u00adry there. I\u2019m see\u00ading a tro\u00adphy wife who\u2019s tired of\ndoing bull\u00adshit com\u00admit\u00adtees and rid\u00ading lessons and shtup\u00adping one of the\ntownies\u2026maybe she learns how to hunt and becomes a coy\u00adote vig\u00adi\u00adlante.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOooh,\nI like it,\u201d Alexas said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGood.\nI\u2019ll start writ\u00ading it in the morn\u00ading.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I\ndid, begin\u00adning a sto\u00adry enti\u00adtled \u201cThe Mighty Huntress,\u201d about Caprice Highgate\u2019s\nmeta\u00admor\u00adpho\u00adsis from tro\u00adphy wife to hunter and inde\u00adpen\u00addent woman. Revised many\ntimes, that sto\u00adry even\u00adtu\u00adal\u00adly formed the first chap\u00adter of One Hun\u00addred Miles<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the\nweeks that fol\u00adlowed, I wrote in the morn\u00adings, and dur\u00ading my after\u00adnoon walks or\nbike rides into the vil\u00adlage and around the out\u00adskirts, I began to notice oth\u00ader\ndetails about the coun\u00adtry\u00adside that I either hadn\u2019t noticed pre\u00advi\u00adous\u00adly, or had\nbut only periph\u00ader\u00adal\u00adly. There were two<\/em>\nshoot\u00ading clubs with\u00adin a cou\u00adple miles of my apart\u00adment, and echo\u00ading from those\nplaces every day were shot\u00adgun blasts\u2014sometimes so rapid and stac\u00adca\u00adto that the\nshoot\u00ading sound\u00aded like Civ\u00adil War skir\u00admish\u00ades.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Anoth\u00ader\ndetail: hous\u00ades in the area that had lain aban\u00addoned all through my child\u00adhood in\nMill\u00adbrook were now restored and invari\u00adably occu\u00adpied by ambi\u00adtious nou\u00adveau-riche <\/em>Man\u00adhat\u00adtan\u00adites. A cou\u00adple\ntimes a year, there were \u201chorse trials\u201d\u2014show jump\u00ading (dres\u00adsage) and cross-coun\u00adtry\nobsta\u00adcle cours\u00ades. These were events that I had nev\u00ader both\u00adered to inves\u00adti\u00adgate\nwhen I lived in the vil\u00adlage prop\u00ader. I made a point of attend\u00ading sev\u00ader\u00adal of\nthese events and tak\u00ading copi\u00adous notes, notes that formed the final chap\u00adter of One Hun\u00addred Miles<\/em>, the love sto\u00adry of a\nMan\u00adhat\u00adtan book edi\u00adtor and a wealthy equestri\u00adenne named Tita\u00adnia Ham\u00admer\u00ads\u00adley (by\nthe way, I got her sur\u00adname from a street I fre\u00adquent\u00adly passed on the\nPough\u00adkeep\u00adsie Arte\u00adr\u00adi\u00adal).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mov\u00ading a\nmile out\u00adside of the vil\u00adlage gave me just enough dis\u00adtance from the place and the\npeo\u00adple that I began to notice, or hear about, things that had escaped my\natten\u00adtion when I was a fix\u00adture in town: for exam\u00adple, there was a Mill\u00adbrook area\nswingers club. (I still can\u2019t believe it.) There were ongo\u00ading dra\u00admas involv\u00ading a\ncer\u00adtain young cou\u00adple in town\u2014a hair\u00address\u00ader and a wait\u00ader at the diner\u2014and the\ntowns\u00adpeo\u00adple typ\u00adi\u00adcal\u00adly chose sides. The ante\u00addilu\u00advian Thorne and Ben\u00adnett Col\u00adlege\nbuild\u00adings had offi\u00adcial\u00adly become eye\u00adsores. And final\u00adly, a cer\u00adtain contractor\u2019s\npick\u00adup truck reg\u00adu\u00adlar\u00adly drove into a vari\u00adety of Mill\u00adbrook estates, estates where\nthe wives reput\u00aded\u00adly were alone dur\u00ading the work\u00adweek; and since these women\u2019s\nhous\u00ades couldn\u2019t all<\/em> have leaky faucets,\nthere must be anoth\u00ader rea\u00adson for the con\u00adtrac\u00adtor going there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As I\ncon\u00adtin\u00adued to write, I noticed that cer\u00adtain char\u00adac\u00adters that were \u201cstars\u201d or\nnar\u00adra\u00adtors of some sto\u00adries reap\u00adpeared in oth\u00ader ones. I also noticed that what I\nwas real\u00adly writ\u00ading was a nov\u00adel, the cen\u00adtral char\u00adac\u00adter of which was the place\nitself: a fic\u00adtion\u00adal\u00adized ver\u00adsion of Millbrook\u2014Wellington, NY.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s\na lot of my own direct expe\u00adri\u00adence in One\nHun\u00addred Miles from Man\u00adhat\u00adtan<\/em>, includ\u00ading the scene where the town doc\u00adtor,\nDr. Hale, attends a lec\u00adture by a spir\u00adi\u00adtu\u00adal guru; that was based on a pro\u00adgram I\nattend\u00aded in New York City by the late Dr. Wayne Dyer. One of the char\u00adac\u00adters with\nhis own chap\u00adter (I\u2019ll leave you to dis\u00adcov\u00ader which one it is) is based on me and\nthe hijinks that ensued when we moved out of the vil\u00adlage in the sum\u00admer of 2010.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At read\u00adings\nand book sign\u00adings I\u2019ve been asked the fol\u00adlow\u00ading ques\u00adtion by prospec\u00adtive read\u00aders\nof the nov\u00adel (almost always women, by the way, who ask the ques\u00adtion with an\nuplift\u00aded eye\u00adbrow): \u201cIs Welling\u00adton actu\u00adal\u00adly<\/em>\nMill\u00adbrook?\u201d Of course what they\u2019re real\u00adly ask\u00ading is whether what occurs between\nthe cov\u00aders of the nov\u00adel actu\u00adal\u00adly<\/em> hap\u00adpened<\/em>, and, if so, whether they might\nknow some of the \u201cchar\u00adac\u00adters.\u201d I usu\u00adal\u00adly give my most charm\u00ading, enig\u00admat\u00adic smile\u2014half\nrogue, half naughty lit\u00adtle boy\u2014and say, \u201cWell, Welling\u00adton is inspired<\/em> by<\/em> Mill\u00adbrook.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c \u2018Inspired\nby\u2019?\u201d the woman says with a frown. \u201cWhat\u2019s that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, the char\u00adac\u00adters and sit\u00adu\u00ada\u00adtions are pret\u00adty uni\u00adver\u00adsal,\u201d I say. \u201cEvery wealthy town has con\u00adflicts between town\u00adies and hill\u00adtop\u00adpers. Every wealthy town has con\u00adtrac\u00adtors who ser\u00advice<\/em> lone\u00adly tro\u00adphy wives. Every wealthy town has bored rich peo\u00adple who dress up like Eng\u00adlish lords and shoot pheas\u00adants, or ride hors\u00ades and wear their rid\u00ading boots every\u00adwhere to adver\u00adtise they\u2019re eques\u00adtri\u00adans. Those char\u00adac\u00adters exist every\u00adwhere. So, if what you\u2019re ask\u00ading me is, \u2018Did the things in this book real\u00adly hap\u00adpen?\u2019 then I\u2019d say, yes, they real\u00adly did\u2014just not exact\u00adly like that, with those names, etc.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thor\u00adough\u00adly\ncon\u00adfused at this point, the prospec\u00adtive read\u00ader usu\u00adal\u00adly grabs a copy, asks me to\nsign it, and hur\u00adries away to the cash register\u2014eager to start read\u00ading or to sim\u00adply\nget the hell away from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before One Hun\u00addred Miles from Man\u00adhat\u00adtan<\/em>, I\nnev\u00ader would have believed that mov\u00ading as lit\u00adtle as a mile away could so\nrad\u00adi\u00adcal\u00adly shift my per\u00adspec\u00adtive and height\u00aden my sen\u00adsi\u00adtiv\u00adi\u00adty to the place where I\nlived, but it did, and the proof is in the pages of the nov\u00adel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n * * \n*<\/p>\n\n\n\n I wrote\nthe pre\u00adced\u00ading sec\u00adtion of this blog entry in the spring of 2018, back when I was\ncre\u00adat\u00ading con\u00adtent for my social media pub\u00adli\u00adcist to pub\u00adli\u00adcize. But when I read it\nover, I decid\u00aded to wait to pub\u00adlish the piece until I moved again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the 13 years that have passed since I returned to Mill\u00adbrook, the com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adty has changed so much that it now bears absolute\u00adly no resem\u00adblance<\/em> to the small town where I grad\u00adu\u00adat\u00aded from high school. Thir\u00adty-two years ago, Mill\u00adbrook was a lot like the one-stop\u00adlight small town in the movie The Last Pic\u00adture Show<\/em>; today it\u2019s large\u00adly a bas\u00adtion of wealthy, pre\u00adten\u00adtious Man\u00adhat\u00adtan week\u00adenders and Westch\u00adester coun\u00adty trans\u00adplants, whose sole con\u00adtri\u00adbu\u00adtions to the com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adty seem to be increased prop\u00ader\u00adty val\u00adues and tax\u00ades, a pletho\u00adra of Pilates and \u201chot yoga\u201d stu\u00addios, increased prices at the din\u00ader and Marona\u2019s mar\u00adket, a pro\u00adfu\u00adsion of Tes\u00adla auto\u00admo\u00adbiles, and (the one pos\u00adi\u00adtive) a super\u00adfluity of young women in jodh\u00adpurs and chest\u00adnut rid\u00ading boots. See\u00ading my home\u00adtown decline from a hum\u00adble coun\u00adtry vil\u00adlage with an Agway feed store to a Philis\u00adtine cesspool whose entire econ\u00ado\u00admy is built on real estate, antiques and \u201cgen\u00adtle\u00adman farms\u201d was too much for me to bear, so I decid\u00aded to move away. (But don\u2019t worry\u2026I\u2019m putting all of these neg\u00ada\u00adtive feel\u00adings about the changed Mill\u00adbrook into my next Dako\u00adta mys\u00adtery.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n As I\nwrote at the begin\u00adning of this entry, I\u2019ve moved a lot<\/em>. As a kid, I moved more often than most \u201cmil\u00adi\u00adtary brats.\u201d The\nlongest I lived in one com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adty was between the ages of 13 and 16, and the\nclos\u00adest I ever had to \u201ca home\u201d in my life was my grand\u00adpar\u00adents\u2019 estate in Union\nVale (south of Mill\u00adbrook). Dur\u00ading all of my child\u00adhood moves, until I grad\u00adu\u00adat\u00aded\nfrom high school, the only \u201chome\u201d in my life, the only per\u00adma\u00adnent place with\nsta\u00adble peo\u00adple that I could depend on, was my grand\u00adpar\u00adents\u2019 place in the Clove\nValley\u2014with its swim\u00adming pool, ten\u00adnis court, trout and bass ponds, acres and\nacres of woods, and a horse farm next door. And for over 30 years since then\u2014the\nentire\u00adty of my pro\u00adfes\u00adsion\u00adal writ\u00ading life\u2014by neces\u00adsi\u00adty I\u2019ve been nomadic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Or, if I\nwas rel\u00ada\u00adtive\u00adly sta\u00adble at the time\u2014that is, I wasn\u2019t chang\u00ading apart\u00adments every\nyear\u2014I had to shoe\u00adhorn my writ\u00ading life into less-than-ide\u00adal spaces and liv\u00ading\nsit\u00adu\u00ada\u00adtions. This has led to Alexas and me liv\u00ading in apart\u00adments above or beneath\nhoard\u00aders, men\u00adtal\u00adly dis\u00adturbed peo\u00adple or recent\u00adly paroled ex-cons; next door to\nnot one but two<\/em> fire\u00adhous\u00ades; over garages\nand pawn\u00adshops, you name it. (True sto\u00adry: In 1998, we were liv\u00ading in an\napart\u00adment above a pawn\u00adshop in Port\u00adland, Maine when, one after\u00adnoon out of\nnowhere, said pawn\u00adshop was raid\u00aded by the FBI.) With all of these dis\u00adtrac\u00adtions\nin close prox\u00adim\u00adi\u00adty to where I\u2019ve lived, in order to get the qui\u00adet and soli\u00adtude\nI\u2019ve need\u00aded to write I\u2019ve had to find it ad\nhoc<\/em> in libraries, parks and caf\u00e9s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For\u00adtu\u00adnate\u00adly\nAlexas and I are mem\u00adbers of the Vas\u00adsar Col\u00adlege com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adty. For the past 13 years\nI\u2019ve been able to work in Vassar\u2019s Thomp\u00adson Memo\u00adr\u00adi\u00adal Library vir\u00adtu\u00adal\u00adly\nunmo\u00adlest\u00aded. I say \u201cvir\u00adtu\u00adal\u00adly unmo\u00adlest\u00aded\u201d because, every so often, in their\noverzeal\u00adous\u00adness the Secu\u00adri\u00adty and\/or Build\u00adings & Grounds staff at the\ncol\u00adlege go on a tear test\u00ading fire alarms or bang\u00ading on shit that doesn\u2019t seem\nto need fix\u00ading. Then there were the many, many times that, despite writ\u00ading in a\nstudy car\u00adrel in the most remote cor\u00adner of the library base\u00adment (in the Gov\u00adern\u00adment\nDocs room), one pas\u00adsive-aggres\u00adsive, OCD woman made a point of pass\u00ading my\nwork\u00adspace dur\u00ading her twice-dai\u00adly walk around the building\u2019s base\u00adment perime\u00adter,\neven though she had no rea\u00adson to be there; I solved that prob\u00adlem by set\u00adting up\na tidy Les Mis\u00ader\u00adables<\/em> bar\u00adri\u00adcade of\nchairs in the aisle each morn\u00ading, forc\u00ading her to change her route. Hey, crazy lady,\nif you\u2019re<\/em> read\u00ading this, SUUUUUUCCKK IIIIIIIITTTT!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Even\nso, 90 per\u00adcent of the time the Vas\u00adsar library has been a great place to write,\nand I know it\u2019s been a great place to write because of how pro\u00adduc\u00adtive I\u2019ve\nbeen. In the past decade, I wrote, revised and pub\u00adlished nine books there, and\n(count\u00ading the 600,000-word Big Book) I\u2019ve writ\u00adten the first drafts of eleven\nmore books.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s 20\nbooks total in ten years. Not bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How\u00adev\u00ader, as pro\u00adduc\u00adtive as I\u2019ve been in my writ\u00ading life over the past decade, in order to find the increas\u00ading\u00adly elu\u00adsive qui\u00adet and soli\u00adtude I\u2019ve need\u00aded to write, I\u2019ve had to spend an awful lot of my time schlep\u00adping<\/em> around. And this schlep\u00adping has been com\u00adpli\u00adcat\u00aded by hav\u00ading to do it with mul\u00adti\u00adple bags: my work bag, which con\u00adtains my com\u00adput\u00ader and\/or Alphas\u00admart Neo<\/a> to type on; jour\u00adnals; notepads; pen\u00adcils; pens, dic\u00adtio\u00adnary; the\u00adsaurus; medical\/hygiene stuff (like a tooth\u00adbrush & aspirin); keys; iPod; snacks; wal\u00adlet; my lunch bag, which con\u00adtains cool\u00aders, Ther\u00admoses, cups and uten\u00adsils; and some kind of gym bag, which con\u00adtains at a min\u00adi\u00admum a clean tow\u00adel and a change of under\u00adwear. Then, at the end of the day, when Alexas and I drove home, I had to schlep<\/em> all of those bags back into the house, along with any gro\u00adceries and oth\u00ader house\u00adhold pur\u00adchas\u00ades. The bot\u00adtom line is, I have spent my entire adult life schlep\u00adping<\/em> crap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For a\nlong time I\u2019ve want\u00aded to get out of the schlep\u00adping<\/em>\nbusi\u00adness, and to that end, Alexas and I spent the last 18 months hunt\u00ading for a\nhouse. (Since I\u2019m con\u00adsid\u00ader\u00ading writ\u00ading a book about our real estate tra\u00advails, I\nwon\u2019t go into detail about them here.) I have a lot of thoughts about the real\nestate indus\u00adtry<\/em> in New York, but\nsuf\u00adfice it to say, until the laws in New York change or until Zil\u00adlow or anoth\u00ader\nonline com\u00adpa\u00adny dis\u00adrupts the mar\u00adket by cut\u00adting agents out of the process, we\nwant noth\u00ading<\/em> to do with buy\u00ading prop\u00ader\u00adty\nin New York.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For\nover 20 years of mar\u00adriage, Alexas and I have lived in one-bath\u00adroom, <600\nsquare-foot apart\u00adments. And because we want\u00aded to live below our means and\nmain\u00adtain a small car\u00adbon foot\u00adprint, we only ever allowed our\u00adselves one car. We con\u00adsis\u00adtent\u00adly\nsac\u00adri\u00adficed con\u00adve\u00adnience and com\u00adfort in order to live sim\u00adply. But we reached a\npoint where we didn\u2019t want to sac\u00adri\u00adfice any\u00admore. When search\u00ading for a house, we\nwant\u00aded, \u00e0 la<\/em> The Jef\u00adfer\u00adsons on the\n70s TV show, to \u201cmove on up.\u201d We want\u00aded, in a word, sanc\u00adtu\u00adary<\/em>. Sanc\u00adtu\u00adary from neigh\u00adbors and the increas\u00ading\u00adly\ncom\u00adpli\u00adcat\u00aded, hec\u00adtic out\u00adside world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Well,\nwe searched for our sanc\u00adtu\u00adary for over a year and a half and couldn\u2019t find it.\nOr, in the three cas\u00ades where we found it and put in very fair offers, we were\npre\u00advent\u00aded from get\u00adting it by unscrupu\u00adlous real estate agents, greedy or\ndelu\u00adsion\u00adal sell\u00aders, or Manhattan\/Westchester douch\u00ades look\u00ading to snag inex\u00adpen\u00adsive\nweekend\/vacation prop\u00ader\u00adties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I might\nsound bit\u00adter about this expe\u00adri\u00adence, but hon\u00adest\u00adly I\u2019m not. I\u2019m grate\u00adful for what\nwe learned about our\u00adselves, each oth\u00ader, and what\u2019s real\u00adly impor\u00adtant to us. More\nthan any\u00adthing, it\u2019s the lost time that both\u00aders me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Time\nthat I could have been work\u00ading more intense\u00adly on my books.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Time\nthat I can nev\u00ader get back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<\/a>
<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<\/a>